THE IMPORTANCE OF LUBRICATING

Our skin is an amazing 5 layered suit of armor; each layer performing a function and having its own personality. It is the largest organ of the body and is a protective line of defense against bacteria, viruses and fungus. Mucous membranes which line body passages (intestine, urethra, vagina) are equally astounding in their function to protect, support, absorb nutrients and secrete important mucus, enzymes and salts.

The epidermis or skin is a tapestry of different thicknesses (.05 -1.1mm) across the body. Thinner areas (eyes, genitalia) are closer to nerve endings so are more receptive to sensual touch, temperature and sensation as well as being more vulnerable to toxins, micro-tears and cuts. Thicker areas are less vulnerable to tearing, dryness and environment and are not as sensitive to touch. Keratin, a waterproofing protein is contained in our outer most skin layer that we can think of as our permanent wetsuit. Get a hole in your wetsuit and in comes the water. Get a tear or cut in your skin and we leave the door open to bad bacteria, virus etc. creeping in.

I am a firm believer in using sex lubrication for two important skin care and Intimate Fitness™ reasons. Certainly lube is great for better sexual sensation but it also helps reduce friction, improves slip and thus helps protect sensitive vulvovaginal and penile skin. Dry sex is uncomfortable, no fun and increases incidence of tearing. It is through micro-tears that HIV and other STIs can be transmitted. Women naturally produce lubrication but it is not always enough, and back door play absolutely requires lube. My favorite for improved sensation and personal protection you know is Uberlube…..… and quite frankly, I WON’T have sex without it!

It is important for us to maintain a strong, intact, inner and outer shell via physical and Intimate Fitness™ as an easy and smart line of defense against infection and disease.

LOW LIBIDO IN MEN

I realize that I said I would be covering exciting libido boosting tips this week, but I thought it first important to cover the topic of male low libido. Knowing that men experience it and why may help to ease some anxiety, balance the scales and normalize this situation a bit for everyone.

Many of the reasons covered in last week’s installment apply to men. Psychological factors such as depression, anxiety or poor body image and personal habits like lack of sleep or life stress can contribute to diminished sex drive. Too high or too low body weight can cause male hormone fluctuations. And yes, as with women, medication side effects and diet can curb our hunger for hot, sensual sex too.

Men’s endocrine imbalance is called hypogonadism or Low T, the T for testosterone. Low T can occur due to 1.signaling problems that may exist between the brain and testes which causes a reduction in testosterone production, 2. testes are unable to produce enough testosterone due to a defect, 3. the brain decides that testosterone levels are too high and decides to cut production.

Indicative symptoms of Low T are low to no sex drive, mood swings and reduced energy levels. If you suspect it in yourself or partner, get it checked out soon. The wonderful news is TRT or testosterone replacement therapy can help improve these symptoms and hormone levels to restore drive and virility. Consult with a trusted physician on treatment options as there are several.

A psychological and communication issue that can also take the sexy juju right out of men and women is performance anxiety. Men with ED (erectile dysfunction) or who lack of erotic esteem may be self-conscious and avoid sex. Women wish to be great lovers but “good girls” aren’t supposed to be good at it, and no one has taught us how after all. The truth be told, getting to and maintaining great, sensual, mind blowing, take you to another stratosphere sex is learned and oh yes, practiced, practiced, practiced. I urge compassion, experimentation, exploration, education, communication, shedding false constraints……….and of course Uberlube.

Next week I promise we will explore libido enhancing activities and ideas. Have a super sexy, intimately fit week!

VAGINAL DRYNESS: PART 2

Vaginal and vulvar dryness occurs mostly in women who are in menopause (1 out of 3), who have had ovaries surgically removed, are smokers, birth control pill users, and in women who are of extremely low BMI (Body Mass Index). Women undergoing chemo or diabetics may experience it too. Oh, and on a sexual note, also if people don’t take enough time with foreplay to get nice and naturally wet.

The obvious problems that occur with vaginal/vulvar dryness are itching, burning, possible infection, and overall irritation. Urinary urgency and pain with intercourse - particularly at insertion where little tears called fissures can occur are common too. This can all put a major cramp in your sex lifestyle. After all, who would be feeling sexy and alluring when irritated and playing hostess to a cranky vagina? Vaginal dryness can also cause spotting from abrasions or vaginal atrophy. Atrophy is when low estrogen causes the vaginal lining to thin and become less elastic.

But happily, not all of is long term, and there are some great solutions.
For immediate relief of symptoms, our Sexual Health Enthusiasts Uro-gynocologist recommends Uberlube for moisture because it is more physiologic with no unpleasant glop…..and his patients agree! It can be used daily both internally and externally to moisten and relieve dryness. S+HE’s AfterIt foaming cleanser for the shower works in harmony with your body to cleanse, soothe and provide a lovely feeling moisture barrier. Use of regular soap will further strip your skin worsening the situation, so be very wary of off the shelf products. AfterIt provides a comforting effect while protecting skin. Follow it with S+HE’s AfterTrace for further cooling and calming of the vulva.

Vaginal estrogen in a tablet, cream or ring has proven highly effective in helping or resolving long term symptoms. Estrogen can make the vaginal lining thicker, increasing tone, lubrication and elasticity. The problem with hormone replacement therapy is that despite it having been proven to be safe and effective time and time again, there is so much misinformation out there, many fear using it. It is also unfortunately quite expensive. I cannot recommend nor reject this solution and as with all of my suggestions, consult with your trusted doctor for something tailored to your needs and symptoms.

Science and studies have shown that having sex makes us happier, healthier and improves longevity. It is my hope that you make it a point to “maintain your sexy” if vaginal dryness is part your life. So for more comfortable, rewarding intercourse and sex play, Doctor-recommended Uberlube is my FAVORITE. Other premium and great quality brands I really like are PINK (silicone), Pjur (water and silicone options) and Sliquid (water and silicone options). FYI, silicone lubes will offer you more slip longer. If you have any questions, please ask me through Mary, and my team of Enthusiasts and I will do our best to make you feel empowered about your situation.

VAGINAL DRYNESS: SELF-LUBE

My team of sexual health enthusiasts and I have been asked to cover the subject of vaginal dryness especially in menopausal women, but first we thought it would be fun to dive into the flip side - wetness. I can’t wait to tell you why foreplay is so very important.

If you read my piece on douching, you are already familiar with how miraculous the female sexual body is. In addition to self-cleansing, we are wonderfully self-protecting and our own ability to naturally lubricate is one of those forms of protection. We normally have a thin layer of clear fluid on the walls of the vagina maintained by Estrogen. Estrogen helps sustain a healthy vaginal lining by keeping it constantly moisturized, thick and elastic. The other form of self-lubrication we experience is when we are turned on and aroused - vaginal transudation. You know……..that wonderful stirring and delicious ache below your belly button when something or someone makes you crave sex. If you pay close attention, you can feel it happening. Vaginal lubrication in preparation for sex is our natural way to prepare and facilitate great feeling intercourse. Sexual activity when dry can be painful for both men and women.

Now here is why foreplay is so important for you physically in addition to stimulating your mind and imagination. A woman’s body takes about 10-15 minutes to fully “respond” and be ready for intercourse. We need time for our tissues to engorge with blood and for the lubrication to build for fabulous, slick sex. Amazingly, our cervix and uterus tilt to accommodate penetration and the back of the vagina expands. This “ballooning” explains our desire to be filled. So tell your partner that if he or she plays with you for a while, and takes the time to really arouse you the sex will be even better!

I highly recommend you always keep personal/sex lubrication at hand in case you are having a marathon session or if you just want extra slip to enhance sexual pleasure. Wetter is just better! If you are pre-menopausal and healthy, your degree of self-lubrication doesn’t mean anything, so don’t judge or be judged by it.

My favorite brand of premium lube is silicone based Uberlube. It is long-lasting, body and condom friendly and has a sleek no spill design. I also love Uberlube because it is tasteless and great for oral sex as well. Sliquid’s H2O would be my water-based lube choice, but keep in mind water-based doesn’t stay slippery as long and can become tacky pretty quickly. If you have any STD’s keep away from the lubes with heating or cooling features, they can trigger an episode or cause inflammation.

Wishing all of you happy, healthy and sensationally slippery sex!