LOW LIBIDO

By Nina Helms

This is a big topic, so let’s start with an official definition of libido: 1. Sexual desire. 2. The energy of the sexual drive as a component of the life instinct.

Low libido extinguishes our hunger for sex, diminishes our allure and sexual charisma and can result in our sex lives taking a back seat to the business and stresses of daily life. Low libido takes a toll on intimate relationships, sexual organs can atrophy - yes, if you don’t use it you lose it - and the many benefits of sex are missed out upon. This is not a good thing, but fear not, there are solutions. Sexual satisfaction and a happy healthy sex life can and even should, in my book, be a priority. And the good news is that later in life, when low libido tends to happen, is actually when sex can be at its absolute best!

There are three big physical life events for women when libido takes a hit. These are perimenopause, postpartum phases, and menopause. Reproductive hormones fluctuate, causing symptoms like weight gain, mood swings, insomnia, vaginal dryness and an overall feeling of being off. It is these disruptive and unwelcome symptoms caused by endocrine roller coaster rides that can strip us of our sexy.

Our erotic energy is also strongly tied to our heads, hearts and self- image.
Let’s keep in mind that the brain is the largest sex organ of the body.

Our attitudes about sex play a great role in our sexual desire. What sensual and sexual permission do we give ourselves? Do you explore, experiment and ask for what you want?

How much we self-love absolutely impacts the quality of sexual satisfaction. Do you like your body and think you are sexy and desirable or do you engage in self-deprecation?

Alcohol, tobacco, anti-depressants and other meds can also take a toll. So are you medicating?

Caring for children or aging parents, financial difficulties or relationship issues can weigh heavily on sexual vivacity. Is your life running rough shod over you sapping you of any time or energy to engage in sensual play?

An interdependent blend of the physical, the emotional, the environment and mind set coalesce to generate our sex drive and how we show up as our erotic selves. We are highly sexual creatures, engineered to attract, desire, give and receive pleasure. You have the power to make it bloom or push it off the radar.

Managing low libido is something to be done with medical professionals, through open communication with your lover, and by making your sexuality a personal priority. Next week I will make some sensual suggestions to help stimulate sex drive and recapture aspects of Intimate Fitness™ that physicians or analysts may not have in their bailiwick.