TWERKING

by Mary Schook

I'm not quite sure yet what Nina Helms would say about Twerking, but I couldn't resist posting this video that Malcolm Harris shared with me.

WHAT IS YOUR BIKINI HAIR STYLE?

(CLICK IMAGE TO ENLARGE)

Since the summer months are upon us, and it is time to put that body on display pool or beach side, it is also definitely time to tidy up that bikini line. Waxing is one of the most common and favored methods for bikini hair removal because it lasts and leads to softer hair regrowth.
I would love you to consider some pointers to help maintain your Intimate Fitness™ when removing hair from such a sensitive area.

When making your waxing appointment, be sure your spa/salon has sensitive skin wax specifically for use on the bikini area. Exfoliate, moisturize and hydrate at least 24 hours ahead of your appointment. Clean the area before waxing using a wipe like AfterGlow or a baby wipe - for your protection and as a favor to your aesthetician. Avoid alcohol consumption and consider taking your own unscented corn starch body powder with you to apply prior, if that is the waxer’s method. Your own bottle of AfterShave post hair removal treatment to apply post waxing to soothe, calm and moisturize is a great idea too. AfterShave has the added benefit of removing residual wax and diminishing ingrown hairs.

Waxing may be more painful a few days before and during your period, so perhaps plan around it. A big exhale when the wax is being pulled off helps the body relax to reduce pain sensations. Advise your aesthetician of skin treatments you are on like Retin-A or Accutane.

Waxing and other hair removal methods are very stressful to skin, so pamper it post hair removal. Moisturize, moisturize, moisturize and hydrate. Be sure to wear loose clothing and cotton panties or perhaps go commando under a fabulous maxi dress so waxed skin has a chance to be friction free. Be cautious of sun exposure for about a day following, and be sure to apply sun screen when you do hit the lounge chair. Any bikini hair removal should also be scheduled at least 24 hours in advance of a sexual encounter………even delightful sex friction can cause serious irritation and leave you more vulnerable to STDs.

Waxing tends to cause more ingrown hairs than other removal methods so exfoliating with AfterShave, Tend skin, a loofa, or a gentle scrub can diminish dead cell build up which leads to ingrowns.
Deciding how much to remove is up to you of course, but for those of you who are very sensitive, have vulvodynia or recurring irritations/infections in that area, please forgo the Brazilian style and just groom outside the labia. Consider that nature put hair down there for what I believe is a protective, health related reason, so be mindful of that when deciding whether you are going to trim the hedges, or pull the entire plant out by the roots.

WHAT IS INTIMATE FITNESS?

I frequently mention Intimate Fitness™ in my writing and today I want to dig a little more deeply into what exactly Intimate Fitness™ is and why is this so important to our well-being.

Intimate Fitness™ is the holistic approach to intimate, sexual and overall well-being principally for the body, but also for the mind and soul.

Intimate Fitness™ encompasses the steps one takes to support, maintain, benefit and improve our personal, perhaps sensitive and sometimes private side. It includes correct cleansing and ablution practices, education and exploration, self-love and self-respect. Medical check-ups are key to Intimate Fitness™ as are nutrition and regular exercise to build a stronger, deeper relationship with self. Intimate Fitness™, just as physical fitness, is a lifestyle choice. They each promote greater health, self-confidence, body awareness and vitality, not to mention are smart for disease prevention.

Many people are uneasy or unaware of how to correctly address their body’s Intimate Fitness™ needs, so Sexual Health Enthusiasts (S+HE) developed a skin care system designed make it easy, effective and second nature. S+HE uses carefully selected ingredients designed to soothe, restore and protect mucous membranes and allover skin. The S+HE system works with your body, not against it to offer proper gentle cleansing or repair while protecting and fortifying. The pH correct formulas also provide deep moisture; enhanced freshness and restores stressed skin. www.sheaftercare.com will provide more detailed information on each product. So whether you are sprucing up to have a sexual encounter, or meeting friends for happy hour after a long day, the S+HE skin care system will enhance your experience.

Other things in an Intimate Fitness™ arsenal can be good lubrication, condoms,kegel exercisers and a sex toy or two. Anatomy and sexual education, masturbation, exploration and communication are also tools to leverage. Being proactive with our Intimate Fitness™ we can enhance our self-assurance, enjoy greater physical pleasure and lower the risk of infection and STD transmission. Whether or not we are sexually active Intimate Fitness™ practices are very important to our overall well-being.

EXPERIENCE APHRODISIACS WITH THE EXPERTS!

Intimate Fitness™ is not simply the caring, maintenance and comfort of your physical body, but also key to it is the stimulation of your sensual mind, curious senses and wondrous spirit. An amazing two part date to get your juices flowing and senses sparkling are the exhibits and OralFix Bar at the Museum of Sex in NYC.

Museum of Sex, is tastefully designed and located on prestigious Fifth Avenue (@ 27th St.) in Manhattan. It is home to permanent and commissioned installations as well as changing exhibits. It is a brilliant mix of pieces that will shock, surprise or excite you, and other pieces of art that will fascinate or challenge you. Have fun being your own non-judgmental self-observer to discover what turns you on, what turns you off and what you would like to know more about. It will surely fuel conversation all night long.

The Museum of Sex store on the ground floor offers a selection of good quality toys, books, novelty etc. Downstairs is the moody, evocative and slightly hedonistic OralFix Bar……..it just makes you want to make out with someone - which is fine with them as long as you are not too edgy. Their specialty is a menu of sensually stimulating libations that are olfactory, visually and orally rousing. Their crafted cocktails, aphrodisiac sodas and jello shots play and tease with the salt, sweet, sour, or slightly savory sensors of your tongue. The magical aphrodisiac ingredients infused into their hand crafted syrups are based on historical research, folklore and scientific evidence.

Try the Jazz Queen cocktail mixed to enhance love, lust and to boost all-important blood flow. The Damask Harem infused with rose petals naturally relaxes the body and stimulates our feel good hormones. You can also request a custom built cocktail selecting exactly those aphrodisiac elements you desire - which is honestly as sexy as having your very own love potion #9!

The clever people at The Museum of Sex are intending to further stimulate you by opening a restaurant called PLAY. It will surely motivate, invigorate and titillate on all levels.

www.museumofsex.com

UTI, YEAST, AND STD PREVENTION

Nina Helms- Intimate Fitness® Expert

Intimate Fitness™ and pH Balance
Once again turning our focus on the wondrous vagina, it is great to know that we can be proactive with our Intimate Fitness™ to maintain a healthy, protective pH balanced environment. The clever, beneficial and very welcome lactobacilli and corynebacterium rule the vulvovaginal ecosystem. Their acid loving symbiotic relationship regulates and dominates by taking up full residence and crowding out unwanted guests. Knowing what triggers elevate pH can help us best support our Intimate Fitness™ and look out for what to avoid.

1. Excessive and incorrect hygiene – avoid soap (pH 9-10), especially the anti-bacterial kind. Instead use a gentle cleanser like AfterIt made expressly for that area (pH 4-5 range). Flushing internally with douches or plain water (pH 7) can leave us vulnerable to undesirable bacteria proliferating. Also, be sure to wipe front to back with toilet tissue as going the other direction can contaminate the vagina.
2. Sex – carefully select lubrication like Uberlube with a vagina friendly pH to reduce friction and enhance pleasure. This will lessen tearing which can make us more susceptible to STD transmission. Avoid products with glycerin and perfumes if you are especially prone to irritation and skip flavored or sensation lubes. Multiple partners or a new lover can be super exciting, but it can also be a big vaginal disruptor for some. I always drink a glass of water before sex so I can pee afterward to keep UTI’s away and help flush away unwanted bacteria. Gently washing with a correct pH cleanser post-sex helps re-establish a desirable acidic pH too.
3. Medication – several types of antibiotics can inhibit lactobacilli and corynebacterium leading to an overgrowth of Candida resulting in yeast infection. Immunosuppressive, chemotherapy and corticosteroid drugs can also upset the delicate ecosystem making us vulnerable. Ask your physician about taking probiotics internally or topically to help restore and maintain your acidic pH.
4. Menstruation – blood (pH 7), and the menstrual flow removes good and bad bacteria. Tampons left in too long can change pH too. Consider using lactobacillus suppositories during a period if sensitive to these pH elevations.
5. Menopause and Pregnancy – shifting hormones are associated to increased pH, so ask your Dr. about this one.
6. Wardrobe – tight clothing, non-cotton underwear and sleeping with panties on can challenge a healthy vaginal milieu. Sweaty workout clothes harbor bacteria, so get out of them fast once a work out is done.
7. Diet – Candida loves sugar, so those who are prone to yeast infections, forgo the candy, carbs and sugar and starve those pesky critters.
8. UTI’s –if UTI’s plague you, again, urinate post sex, and try Ellura which creates a protective barrier inside the bladder and urinary tract for prevention. Antibiotics treat UTI’s and BV (bacterial vaginosis) and we know from #3 we want to minimize antibiotic use.

Studies show that 75% of American women have had a UTI, BV or yeast infection at some point in their lives. Many have recurring ones. Let’s bring that number down with awareness and Intimate Fitness™

PRONE TO YEAST INFECTIONS AND DISEASES?

Understanding pH = Potential of Hydrogen and its role in Intimate Fitness™

Some skin care products are touting “pH balanced” in their advertising, but they fail to tell us why pH is critical to our sexual well-being and overall health or what the numbers mean.

Today I am going to give you the skinny on why pH, with a range from 1-14, is so important and focus on why vaginal pH is key to a happy, healthy and sexy you!

Our bodies are in a constant flux to maintain an optimal balance between acidity and alkalinity to provide the best environment in which our cells can thrive. We can help or hinder this balancing act with our diet, medication, environment, stress levels etc. Pure water has pH of 7 or neutral, a pH less than 7 is acidic and greater than 7 is basic or alkaline. Normal blood pH is in the low 7s, good urine pH is about 6-6.5, and healthy saliva is between 6 -7.4.

When our pH goes awry anywhere in the body, we can become susceptible to disease and infection. A healthy vagina is acidic and has a pH of about 4.5 and the vulva is around 5. Post menopause it is more alkaline, in the 6-7 range. A normal healthy vulvovaginal environment is a delicate balance of good and bad bacteria with a beautiful natural defense mechanism in the form of good microorganisms called Lactobacilli. The lactobacilli flourish in an acidic space which it self-maintains through lactic acid production that protects us against infection.

It is when our pH is thrown off and becomes more alkaline that yeast or candida can proliferate, or bad microorganisms can take over resulting in infection and a very irritated and unhappy woman. There are numerous culprits that cause vaginal pH to go awry resulting in dreaded itching, irritation and infection. Most off the shelf soap is a pH 9-10 or is anti-bacterial and strips the vulva of all bacteria to leave us vulnerable. Sex friction and semen (pH of 7-8) negatively impact our environment and having new or multiple lovers often results in irritation and imbalance too. Keep sugar and glycerin away from the area as it can quickly result in pH change. Our menstrual flow is like a stream that takes flora and fauna along for the ride thus removing our good and bad bacteria as it exits the body. Stress or super tight clothing can also result in upsetting the pH apple cart. Antibiotics also typically promote yeast infections in some women.

I know this is a long list with lots of pitfalls, but there are Intimate Fitness™ steps we can take to keep the vagina healthy and harmful microorganisms at bay. Happily we can take smart proactive and avoidant measures to assist in the maintenance of our delicately balanced environment.

I want to properly cover vaginal Intimate Fitness™ and not skim over it, so will leave it for the following entry. In the meantime, remember that your vagina is miraculously self-cleansing and doesn’t require you to aggressively clean or dress it up. A healthy vagina is neutral smelling and has a rhythm you should become familiar with, so you can identify when/if you are imbalanced or potentially vulnerable.

BOOSTING YOUR SEX DRIVE

There are a few areas worth addressing where I can offer some tips to help boost a low libido. We simply want to re-stimulate and invoke that physical, emotional and psychological sexual energy via communication, creativity and perhaps a little risk taking.

I. COMMUNICATION

1. Talk to your PCP, Ob-Gyn, Endocrinologist, therapist or sex therapist about what is going on. They are your first line of defense and can help discover the origin and develop a solution.

2. If you are in a relationship it is critical to have an open, honest, SAFE discussion(s) with your partner about your reduced sex drive or theirs. Each person must leave shame at the door, risk being vulnerable and compassionately support the other. Safety and honesty will allow positive energy to be present which can neutralize anxiety and help remove fear of judgment from the conversation.

3. Reflect on and share what desires you have that are unfulfilled.

4. Tell your partner how you like to be touched and what visually or aurally stimulates you and ask the same of them. Be willing to experiment and try new sexual/sensual things together, whether it is role playing, trying new positions, exploring new erogenous zones, talking dirty or acting out a fantasy. Be creative!

5. Be mindful of how you see your partner. If it is only as “the mother/father of my children”, a mind shift is in order. Recall the man/woman who drove you to heavenly distraction and whom you fell so hard for prior to the little ankle biters coming into the picture.

6. Compliment your lover often and honestly and let them know how desired they are, or how desirable they make you feel.

II. SELF-AWARENESS:

1. If you are unfamiliar with your body, look at it, touch it and get super familiar with it. Get intimately acquainted with what pressure, angle or type of stroke stimulates you which will help with #4 above. So, yes, masturbate and don’t judge self-pleasure. It is a great thing!

2. A yoga practice is wonderful for building an intimate relationship with yourself by learning how to move and control your body. Breath work used in yoga can benefit orgasm, as breathing heavily, deeply and bearing down can sometimes intensify how you peak.

3. Take Zumba or pole dancing classes to move those hips, discover your slinky self and get some carnal, sexy moves into your repertoire.

4. Exercise regularly to improve circulation (critical to intimate fitness™), change body image and state of mind.

5. Ladies, buy some lingerie that makes you feel sexy and alluring. In addition to the romance effect, it can hide things that you may be self-conscious about. Keep in mind that most men are just delighted you are having sex with them; they are not seeking out your flaws. So why are you?


III. UNCATEGORIZED SUGGESTIONS:

1. Read some Victorian (softer) or contemporary (more graphic) erotica to get things stirring before a sexual encounter or prior to self-pleasure. It is a little like foreplay. Or you can go online if you want to go a step further for other stimulating content.

2. I love anticipation and build up. Getting to a place where you are jonesing to be touched and played with is thrilling and exciting. Do this by texting or phoning your honey to tell them what you want to do to them the next time you are together or leave them post-it notes in unexpected places. Teasing activities that ratchet up the expectation heightens things for when you finally get together.

3. Give or receive a long sensual massage with your lover which includes touching everything but the sweet spots. The added bonus here is you are removing performance anxiety and the “goal” of orgasm which can help you relax into simply giving and receiving stroking pleasure.

4. Plan to have sex in an unconventional place……….you decide where that is. Whether or not you do it, thinking about it and planning it can be exciting enough.

5. Horny Goat Weed or Epimedium Sagitatum is supposed to help with low libido.

Finally, be self-loving, compassionate and communicative. Ask for what you want and try to remove fear or judgment from your birth right to be a sexual being who can enjoy and celebrate his/her sexuality.