BOOSTING YOUR SEX DRIVE

There are a few areas worth addressing where I can offer some tips to help boost a low libido. We simply want to re-stimulate and invoke that physical, emotional and psychological sexual energy via communication, creativity and perhaps a little risk taking.

I. COMMUNICATION

1. Talk to your PCP, Ob-Gyn, Endocrinologist, therapist or sex therapist about what is going on. They are your first line of defense and can help discover the origin and develop a solution.

2. If you are in a relationship it is critical to have an open, honest, SAFE discussion(s) with your partner about your reduced sex drive or theirs. Each person must leave shame at the door, risk being vulnerable and compassionately support the other. Safety and honesty will allow positive energy to be present which can neutralize anxiety and help remove fear of judgment from the conversation.

3. Reflect on and share what desires you have that are unfulfilled.

4. Tell your partner how you like to be touched and what visually or aurally stimulates you and ask the same of them. Be willing to experiment and try new sexual/sensual things together, whether it is role playing, trying new positions, exploring new erogenous zones, talking dirty or acting out a fantasy. Be creative!

5. Be mindful of how you see your partner. If it is only as “the mother/father of my children”, a mind shift is in order. Recall the man/woman who drove you to heavenly distraction and whom you fell so hard for prior to the little ankle biters coming into the picture.

6. Compliment your lover often and honestly and let them know how desired they are, or how desirable they make you feel.

II. SELF-AWARENESS:

1. If you are unfamiliar with your body, look at it, touch it and get super familiar with it. Get intimately acquainted with what pressure, angle or type of stroke stimulates you which will help with #4 above. So, yes, masturbate and don’t judge self-pleasure. It is a great thing!

2. A yoga practice is wonderful for building an intimate relationship with yourself by learning how to move and control your body. Breath work used in yoga can benefit orgasm, as breathing heavily, deeply and bearing down can sometimes intensify how you peak.

3. Take Zumba or pole dancing classes to move those hips, discover your slinky self and get some carnal, sexy moves into your repertoire.

4. Exercise regularly to improve circulation (critical to intimate fitness™), change body image and state of mind.

5. Ladies, buy some lingerie that makes you feel sexy and alluring. In addition to the romance effect, it can hide things that you may be self-conscious about. Keep in mind that most men are just delighted you are having sex with them; they are not seeking out your flaws. So why are you?


III. UNCATEGORIZED SUGGESTIONS:

1. Read some Victorian (softer) or contemporary (more graphic) erotica to get things stirring before a sexual encounter or prior to self-pleasure. It is a little like foreplay. Or you can go online if you want to go a step further for other stimulating content.

2. I love anticipation and build up. Getting to a place where you are jonesing to be touched and played with is thrilling and exciting. Do this by texting or phoning your honey to tell them what you want to do to them the next time you are together or leave them post-it notes in unexpected places. Teasing activities that ratchet up the expectation heightens things for when you finally get together.

3. Give or receive a long sensual massage with your lover which includes touching everything but the sweet spots. The added bonus here is you are removing performance anxiety and the “goal” of orgasm which can help you relax into simply giving and receiving stroking pleasure.

4. Plan to have sex in an unconventional place……….you decide where that is. Whether or not you do it, thinking about it and planning it can be exciting enough.

5. Horny Goat Weed or Epimedium Sagitatum is supposed to help with low libido.

Finally, be self-loving, compassionate and communicative. Ask for what you want and try to remove fear or judgment from your birth right to be a sexual being who can enjoy and celebrate his/her sexuality.